An Allegory

Last night my wife woke me at some ungodly hour asking for a glass of water.

I reminded her that as the primary breadwinner I needed my sleep more than she did and rolled over.

She asked again, so I grabbed my bible and showed her the passage stating that she had to submit to me.

She pointed out that she was thirsty, so I spent an hour doing some internet research and found that the probability of her dying was small, especially because I had a humidifier running.

She kept asking, so I accused her of being disrespectful, divisive and, selfish.

She retorted with something about my responsibility to love her and I was appalled.  I reminded her that I say “I love you” every morning before I go to work. 

She muttered about my selfishness  She had obviously forgotten that I spend half an hour a week helping at the kid’s sports.  I suggested that she repent of her moral superiority.

I finally got back to sleep despite her noisy sobbing.

This morning she said she wants a divorce. 

I think she is going to hell.