Recently it struck me that it is weirdly incongruous that the community that teaches salvation by faith alone (i.e. actions do not count toward salvation), is one of the most tightly regulated with dress codes, limits on what can be watched and consumed, and who to hang out with. It also spends an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to enforce those rules on the communities around them. In the USA, some are starting to push back – hence the rapid change in generally accepted perceptions about homosexuality, abortion, and drugs.
In an age of culture wars, I have long wrestled with the question of what basis Christians have to enforce their morality on a nation that does not hold the Bible as a source of authority. They may argue about science and sociology, but Christians base their thinking on Scripture. However, discussion about what is good and right with someone who disdains scripture is hard, because there is no common point to work from, nor a superior authority to refer to.
More recently I have watched people who grew up in a christian community start to question the plethora of rules their lives have been governed by. Some have concluded that the rules are invalid and walked away from the church. In some cases, it would seem that their lives were about the rules, not Jesus, and all their flaws and failures were papered over; inevitably doomed to fail.
I am also seeing teenagers rebel against the constraints they have been living under, rejecting their parents and everything they stand for, encouraged by their unchurched peers and media who view the rules as simply a means of exterminating all the fun in their lives. The joy and freedom of Christianity has been lost, hidden behind a plethora of behavioral codes. Indeed, freedom (that widely vaunted American privilege) has been completely turned around from “freedom to serve others regardless of what it costs me” to “freedom to serve me regardless of what it costs others.”
So how do we balance grace with holiness, freedom with righteousness? Generations of far smarter people have wrestled with this question, including Paul. But let’s try and play it out in the culture we find ourselves in now, including some navel gazing. Before we look at ourselves however, lets refresh our understanding of God.
He is by nature: holy, good, righteous, sovereign and loving (among many other attributes). He cannot change. He cannot be persuaded to bend a little. This is who he is. Even in this truncated list there are some challenges: e.g. how can a perfectly righteous being love sinners?
Now me. A sinner, meaning that I cannot come into the presence of that Holy God. Finite, limited – especially in self-control. Indeed, I have no control over most of the important things in my life like my selfishness, the economy, my longevity, or the behavior of people around me. As Paul noted – “wretched” (Romans 7:24).
Then I meet Christ. As a full member of the godhead, He is the answer to the conundrum presented above. By the humiliation of taking on human form, allowing himself to be tortured and killed, and raising himself from the dead, we have a person who can usher us into the presence of the God described above (Romans 5:1). In so doing we are changed (by Him) from sinner to holy (Romans 6:6). The key point here is that it is never about the (pleasure killing) rules. God’s standards are far out of our reach and any striving to achieve them on our own will always lead to burn-out and failure. Instead, He takes on the responsibility of changing us. So now we are not trying to obey rules, but our renewed natures drive us to embrace the satisfaction Mick Jagger never found. Words that apply include rest, joy, fulfillment, peace… Sounds good right? And it all comes from within; without the need to lash ourselves for being failures. Yes, discipline is needed, because we are not in heaven yet, and still have work to do, but we are not striving to be good. The good is striving to change us. Tricky to comprehend – but very freeing.
One way to avoid getting arrogant about our status in Christ is to remember that I am a sinner. Forgiven, redeemed, yes. But still a sinner – so no better than all the other sinners around me.
Next layer out from my own navel – what about my kids? Ephesians 6:4 invokes me as a father to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” There is that tricky discipline thing again. First – can any of us make our kids perfect? Of course not – we can’t even make ourselves perfect! Can we make them into Christians? Nope – that is Gods job. So, what is the goal then? Scripture does not seem to be very loud about this. Look again at verse 4. It starts with “don’t provoke them.” What does that mean? I am reaching the conclusion that excessive “rules” are provoking. I know that as an employee of a large bureaucracy I am provoked by busywork and policies and rules I have to comply with at work.
We have to teach them the Gospel described above. We do also have to teach them to be good citizens – i.e. to look out for others and to avoid activities that will hurt or inconvenience others around them: to be loving (Matt 22: 35). I am coming to the conclusion that the root of misery on the planet is rooted in selfishness (i.e. the love of money). It is not for nothing that most two-year-olds have a limited vocabulary dominated by “why?” Instead of responding with “because I said so” (rules), lets explain the why behind the need to love, because that is the route to fulfillment (relationship). As Ted Tripp wrote years ago - work on their hearts, not their behaviors. While we demonstrate God’s standards and love in our own lives without hypocrisy, and pray for their souls, we hope that God chooses to save them.
And finally – last ring out – the community around us. Much the same as our kids, we demonstrate Christ’s love (John 13:35) and so provoke them into asking what makes us different. I am increasingly convinced that beating them over the head with laws and rules will not lead them to Christ. I am regularly seeing posts by non-christians on social media calling out christians for their hypocrisy, and they are not wrong.
